BLOG

From Russia with tough love – Review by The Sunday Times

From Russia with tough love – Review by The Sunday Times

There’s a joke the Finns make about the Swedes: they call their saunas “warm rooms”. This is because the Finns aren’t very good at jokes. (Nobody, you’ll note, is insisting Mock the Week has at least one Finn on its panel every week.) It’s also because the Finns think a sauna should be hot. Really hot. Like 100C hot. But anything below 80C? Pah! That’s a Swedish sauna.

The Finns don’t have an equivalent joke about the Russians, which doesn’t seem particularly fair, given that the Russian version — the banya — is typically “only” 65C-70C. But Russians are more scary than Swedes, and the Finns may still be feeling a twinge of guilt about their hosting of the 2010 World Sauna Championships, when a Russian finalist, Vladimir Ladyzhensky, died after spending six minutes at 110C.

Though even Russia would draw the line at using a bathing contest as grounds for invasion, it’s certainly mighty proud of its banya culture. I learnt just how proud the hard way — the sweaty, nearly naked hard way — at Banya No.1, Britain’s only Russian bathhouse, which opened last year in a basement behind Old Street Tube station, in north London.

By this point, you’ll have seen the picture of me in my Speedos. Really sorry about that. But count yourself lucky: if I’d been doing things properly, like the home-counties expats who make up much of Banya No.1’s clientele, the trunks would have been off.

You’ll also have assumed that those two huge men holding branches are meting out some sort of corporal punishment, and that I’m being made to wear that hat as a final act of humiliation. Don’t let your prejudices get in the way. German and Gennady, though as unsmilingly gruff as you’d want your Russian banshiks to be, were gentle giants — and experts in the art of the venik. A venik is a bundle of twigs, juicy eucalyptus, wormwood, oak or birch, that not only smells nice, but is really good for wafting steam about.

For Russians, bath time is about the steam, not heat for heat’s sake. According to Andrei Fomin, Banya No.1’s owner, a dry Finnish sauna, with a humidity of less than 10%, has too little steam. The near-100%-humidity fog of Turkish or Moroccan hammams is too soggy. Banya steam, though, is just right, superheated by a 700C stove to create fine transparent droplets.

I’d been comfortable up to this point, slowly warming like a stroganoff in the oven. Then German and Gennady began waving their sticks about like Heathrow semaphorists, scooping the hottest strata of Russian magic steam down from the ceiling to fan it across my back. I don’t know what a Finn would have made of it, and I don’t care, because, gosh, this was now several notches above pleasantly toasty, slightly painful, even. As one pulse of heat faded, another would follow straight behind. Phew-ee.

After doing me on my front, they flipped me onto my back, then, to finish, sat me up, pulled my arms out to the sides and slapped birch leaves across my face. (The hat, if you’re still wondering, is made of felt, and was there to keep my head insulated and cool, not to make me look like a reject from a Stone Roses tribute band.)

They do other treatments at Banya No.1: various scrubs, washes, wraps, masks and massages, popular with the Russian mums who come in after the school run for the ladies-only sessions. But, despite the photographic evidence on this page, Banya No.1 is one macho place to wash. “It’s like a sport,” Andrei says, and by the end of my veniking, I was puffing hard.

In the banya, what gets hot must get cold again. Very cold. So, as I stepped free but dazed from the sweltering steam, German manhandled me into position against a wall and chucked two buckets of cold water over my head. I’d love to say that the squeal I let out in the video we filmed — think Victorian scullery maid surprised by a rat under a jelly mould — was just for the camera. I’d also love to say that I wasn’t sucking in my stomach. I can’t.

Next, to the plunge pool, up the steps, then down, dunking myself in 7C water. I re-emerged, tingling all over, head spinning, defeated, and all but collapsed into Gennady’s muscular embrace. He wrapped me in a bedsheet and plonked me down next door, in the lounge bar, where I was poured a glass of cold kvass (a mildly alcoholic cordial made from brown bread), and a hot tea brewed with thyme and fireweed. As I sipped, I slowly came to my senses. My breathing calmed. I felt wonderful: light, clean, wholesome, rejuvenated.

Now, if I were a proper Russian, I’d have headed back in and done the whole thing over again, five times or more, then hit the vodka and crayfish in the bar with my new-found oligarch buddies. But as a banya beginner, it was best to take it slow. I’ll be back, though, to prove myself to the Russians. They may have come to London and ruined English football and my chances of ever buying a flat — but they don’t half know how to scrub up well.

Read full article here

other articles:

gif
see more
Celebrating Our Latest 2024 Award Nominations
Awards
icon

Celebrating Our Latest 2024 Award Nominations

We are thrilled to announce that Banya No.1 – Hoxton has been recognised as a finalist in three prestigious categories at the BABTAC Awards 2024: Boutique Spa of the Year, Spa Leader of the Year, and Digital Marketing. These recognitions are particularly meaningful as they follow our achievements last year, where we proudly won the … Read more

Learn more
The Banya Sauna Experience
Banya vs Sauna
icon

The Banya Sauna Experience

Immerse yourself in a sanctuary of warmth and wellness with the traditional Russian Banya. Far beyond the familiar sauna experience, Banya offers an exceptional opportunity for groups of friends, family, or colleagues to engage in a centuries-old ritual promoting health, camaraderie, and holistic relaxation. Whether you’re a seasoned sauna enthusiast or a curious newcomer, the … Read more

Learn more
Social Wellness Activity – 10 Social Benefits from the Russian Banya
Community
Russian Banya
icon

Social Wellness Activity – 10 Social Benefits from the Russian Banya

Immerse yourself in the warmth of camaraderie and the steam of tradition with these ten transformative social wellness experiences at the Russian Banya. In an increasingly digital and isolated world, the timeless practices of communal steam baths offer an organic escape and a unique opportunity to strengthen social bonds. From invigorating rituals to shared meals … Read more

Learn more
Bathhouse vs. Spa – What are they and what is the difference?
Detox
Health benefits
icon

Bathhouse vs. Spa – What are they and what is the difference?

Bathhouses and spas are both popular destinations for relaxation and wellness, but they offer distinct experiences. Bathhouses, often steeped in cultural tradition, are communal spaces that emphasize the social aspects of bathing. These venues typically feature steam baths, sauna experiences, and plunge pools, creating an environment where people come together to cleanse and unwind. In … Read more

Learn more
Vote For Us & Get 10% Off Your Next Visit!
Awards
icon

Vote For Us & Get 10% Off Your Next Visit!

Fresh off a successful year filled with spa accolades, Banya No.1 – Hoxton continues to shine in 2024. After securing two awards and reaching finalist status four times last year, we’re thrilled to announce our nomination as a semi-finalist by BABTAC in the Best Boutique Spa category for the second consecutive year. Moreover, The Good … Read more

Learn more
Join The World Wellness Weekend Movement with Banya No.1
Community
Events
icon

Join The World Wellness Weekend Movement with Banya No.1

Are you a wellness influencer or journalist passionate about health and wellbeing? If so, we have an exciting opportunity for you! Banya No.1, a pioneering name in wellness, is proud to be an official partner of the World Wellness Weekend (WWW). Our Founder, Andrei Fomin, isn’t just an advocate for holistic health; he’s a global … Read more

Learn more
Women Only and Men Spa Steam Sauna & Ice Bath Experiences
Banya tips
icon

Women Only and Men Spa Steam Sauna & Ice Bath Experiences

Welcome to Banya No.1 – Hoxton, London’s premier destination for traditional steam sauna and ice bath experiences. Nestled in the heart of the city, we offer a unique blend of relaxation and rejuvenation, catering to all preferences with our women only, men spa and mixed gender sessions. Whether you’re planning a spa day for yourself, … Read more

Learn more
Revitalise Your Routine: Our GM’s Top Wellness Tips for a Thriving 2024
New Year
New Year’s Resolution
Russian Banya
icon

Revitalise Your Routine: Our GM’s Top Wellness Tips for a Thriving 2024

New Year is the time when we love to embark on a “new life,” all matters have been postponed until January, and there’s no turning back. Today, I won’t write about recovering from long holidays, feasts, and alcohol intoxication. Instead, I’d like to offer advice—cultivate new beneficial habits in 2024. If you already have three … Read more

Learn more
Experience the Perfect Harmony of Sound Bath & Thermal Spa in London
Sound Bath
icon

Experience the Perfect Harmony of Sound Bath & Thermal Spa in London

We’re excited to announce our latest wellness offering at Banya No.1 – Hoxton: the Sound Bath Ritual! In this post, we’ll explore the therapeutic practice of sound healing and sound bath, and how it beautifully complements our exhilarating thermal experience, ensuring a holistic and transformative after-effect. What is Sound Healing? Sound healing is a therapeutic … Read more

Learn more
Discover the Health Benefits of Ice Bath at Banya No.1
Health benefits
Plunge pool
Russian Banya
icon

Discover the Health Benefits of Ice Bath at Banya No.1

Dive into the experience at Banya No.1 – Hoxton, where we offer an exhilarating journey through authentic thermal wellness and invigorating contrast therapy in the heart of London, perfect for those exploring the health benefits of ice bath and hot and cold therapy! Here, we invite you to experience our traditional thermal cycle of hot, … Read more

Learn more