The art of a day at Banya

Banya hats

Some days are cold and some days are hot… but the best days, involve a banya stop!

Recently we asked ourselves this very profound question: what shall we do today? It was a Wednesday that happened to have coincided with Christmas. Us being the non-Christmas observing type, we had to decide on what oh what to do. There was the obvious movie/ Chinese cuisine, but we’d already seen ‘Wolf of Wall Street’ ( love you, Leo!) and polar vortex was kicking in. So we pushed ourselves out to the only logical destination: the banya, holy grail of Russians. The only place we gleefully sit around half naked among a crowd of strangers and sweat together in unison until we feel like family. And so began our day of sweaty perfection:

Bathing suit – check.
Bikini hair in check, check — ummm… [10 minute bathroom break] Ok now check.
Tapachki … don’t touch the floor. Ever.
Seriously, don’t ever touch the floor.
A hat.
No, that’s the wrong hat – a wool one.
Do I look like a smurf in this hat?
Money – no, cash.
Save a seat in the common area. It’ll be me + Masha + Alina + Marina + Alina M + Irina + Alina Y
Forgot to grab some towels.
Got 10 so I can save a full table.
Tea. Need tea.
Taranka + tea. Need taranka + tea.
Go sweat.
Sweat.
Sweat.
Sweat.
COLD WATER!
Never doing that again.
More tea.
Kartoshka sounds good right about now.
Beer time.
Kartoshka arrives. Kartoshka + beer.
Go back to sweat.
Sweat.
Sweat.
Ok it’s too hot.
COLD WATER!
Shit, why did I forget how cold the water is?
Back to table.
More food.
Taranka and beer… so good. Why would I ever eat anything again?
More sweat.
Does this place have a hot tub?
Why am I hungry again?
More sweat.
No, pool this time.
OMG how did 7 hours pass already?
Why am I so sleepy?
Sleepy, yet so happy.
Locker-room to change.
Wow so that’s what she looks like naked. Wish I hadn’t seen that.
Wait, is that girl thinking the same thing about me now?!?
And that’s our perfect banya day. Did we miss anything? Tell us in the comments… or else!

Read original article here

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *